Master Chief Will Guild, a 27-year Navy SEAL veteran, mentors incoming SEAL candidates. The six key values he imparts to future special operators apply to any walk of life
1. Put teammates first
"This is an exoteric responsibility -- that is, 'imparting to someone else' -- and it's missing from our culture. When you are acting exoterically, you are acting ethically. How do I treat others? How do I fit into the team? What is my responsibility? Ask yourself these questions, no matter your profession."
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RELATED CONTENT: Bravery (and How to Master It)
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2. Second-guess yourself
"We all have monkey brains. We think terrible things sometimes. Quitting, abandoning something important to us. But don't let that disturb you too much, because it happens to everyone. Really, who you are is your second or even third thought."
3. Allow yourself to fear
"Some people become afraid, and they find it overwhelming. When that happens, reach out to family, friends, or colleagues. Fear is a shared experience -- you'll get a lot of energy from the people around you. Being okay with being afraid is the first step to overcoming it."
4. Control your emotions physically
"Ask a family member or friend to study your posture when you're happy or content. Then practice it, over and over. Your psyche will follow your body. You can literally control your emotions this way."
5. Break big goals into small targets
"How do you eat an elephant? One mouthful at a time. Don't wake up Monday morning and say, 'Four days and 16 hours till Friday.' Instead, wake up and say, 'Two hours till breakfast.' And then, 'Three hours till lunch.' Try to stay in the present."
6. Have faith in yourself
"This is the most crucial part of mental toughness. It's something I tell all the SEALs. Have faith that you'll figure it out. You are a lot stronger physically and mentally than you think you are."
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Overcome Fear and Build Mental Strength
Conquer Your Fears
SEALs condition themselves mentally to overcome both their rational and irrational fears. Lieutenant Commander Eric Potterat, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist with Naval Special Warfare Command, calls it "upgrading your software." Here's how to strengthen your cerebral mettle and beat these four common fears.
Fear 1: Public Speaking
Before you step on stage, suck in several gut-filling breaths, counting 4 seconds with each inhale and exhale. You'll decrease your blood pressure, slow your heart rate, and -- most important -- distract yourself from thoughts of failure. "When you focus away from your fear," says Potterat, "you begin to control it."
Fear 2: Heights
Train with a team. SEALs condition themselves as a unit, using one another as motivation to reach peak performance. Likewise, if you attempt to scale an indoor climbing wall with a group of buddies, their presence can reinforce your resolve.
Fear 3: Flying
Coach yourself through a faux flight, thinking about as many details (sights, sounds, smells) as possible. Potterat preps SEALs with mental walk-throughs of different operations. "Your mind thinks, Hey, I've done this before, transforming an unfamiliar situation into a controlled environment," he says.
Fear 4: Commitment
Figure out what's stopping you, reality or fear. "Fear is usually a by-product of irrational belief," says Potterat. In other words, there's no reason to believe she'll be a total bitch once she has a ring on her finger -- unless she already is one.
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Fight the Good Fight
5 Fights You Can't (and Shouldn't) Avoid
You a dude? Be a dude.
YOUR SURRENDER Growing up, getting married, and starting a family and a career ends in tragedy for men. We die. At least, the stuff that makes us interesting to ourselves does. Your many bosses (read: parents, wives, in-laws, the senior VP) are trying to mold you into a Gumby who bends to their will. They deserve your best effort, but not your capitulation. You a dude? Be a dude. Screw 'em (after your chores are done).
YOUR PROMOTION That sighing thing you do around your boss on payday is, well, pussy. Your boss hired a bulldog, and a bulldog will force his hand. Oh, and if your new package doesn't include equity, invest in yourself: Start your own company.
YOUR PARENTAL AUTHORITY Are you the "cool" dad? Dumb ass. You've set yourself up for this problem, and, yeah, it will hurt you more than it hurts the kid when you go ahead and fix what's wrong. You must now put your foot down, and, yeah, in the short term, junior or juniette will see only the jackboot that houses it. You're being a good parent by disciplining them. Let 'em hate you for a while.
YOUR FINANCIAL SANITY AS A COUPLE You must state your case to her about cash. Just realize some financial facts about women: First, a haircut (with highlights) runs three figures. Second, it happens every 6 weeks. And third, if you accept this and budget for it, it will no longer burn an acid hole in your stomach so big that half-chewed hunks of pot roast drop to your scrotum.
YOUR CAUSE Most unavoidable fights, like the ones you're reading about here, are selfish fights. But there comes a time in a guy's life when he steps up for something he believes in, though it was never his fight alone. And that's the point. A man makes it his fight.